Our government’s current standoff is like a bad relationship or marriage. While he seems to have a beautiful marriage with Michelle, President Obama is stuck elsewhere and he’s not about to budge. The same can be said for his opponents. It’s the same state of affairs that causes a couple to break up or divorce. There are just too many things they can’t agree upon so the best choice seems to be to find the nearest exit door.
Now we all know President Obama isn’t going to check out of leading our country. Like a relationship or marriage there are ways to fix this sour situation and recover and re-energize. So, President Obama, here are a few lessons you can adapt that have helped couples in the dumps regain momentum and return to harmony:
- Observe the 80/20 rule. Negotiating isn’t an all or nothing task; there isn’t a winner and a loser. Sometimes you have to be satisfied by getting 80% of what you want. In a healthy relationship, there will always be hurdles and roadblocks, just like those in the government right now. And in a healthy relationship, there is a natural ebb and flow as to “who” gets the 80%; it alternates over time so that both parties stay satisfied overall and feel like things are fair.
- Stop arguing and use the time to craft a realistic plan of action. Bickering gets you absolutely nowhere. So, everybody, “Shut up!” The opposing parties need to separately sit down and create a plan that has action steps. The steps are to be “we’ll do ‘x’ if you’ll do ‘y.’” Solutions. It needs to be a list that has meaning, with serious give and take. Then the two opposing people/parties get together and talk calmly. No interruptions from outside are allowed. Nobody gets huffy, pissed, or leaves the room. Using this method, when all is said and done and no matter how many hours it takes, both people/parties will feel they each got something they wanted.
- Quit blaming each other. It’s embarrassing to watch our political leaders argue like five year-olds. Couples in crisis are guilty of doing the same thing, “You f*!!**g ate the leftovers I was going to eat!” We’re adults here, right? As the saying goes, it takes two to tango. Both people/parties are to blame. Stop the nonsense and get rolling on #2 and #4.
- Get your finances in order by hiring outside objective professionals. A study released earlier this year by Kansas State University found that fights about money are the leading cause of divorce. It’s no secret that our government overspends and under saves. A couple gets out of their mess by hiring a professional specialist to help straighten out their fiscal problems. President Obama, there is a pool of thousands of outstanding financial planners and strategy consultants in our country that you could hire to deal with the multi-trillion dollar debt.
“The Relationship Insider” Sheryl Kurland provides no-nonsense relationship advice based on her interviews with hundreds of couples married 50 years or more. Follow Sheryl on Facebook. Want help with a problem? Email: Sheryl@TheRelationshipInsider.com.